Bardic Inspiration
The Limericks
Yartar
There once was a lady from Yartar,
Who certainly knew how to bartar.
She took off her clothes,
And said “Heaven knows,”
You’ll trade me all this for a gartar.
Sar
There once was a human from Yartar,
Who was no relation to Jimjar.
Nor related to Six,
Who’s not from “the sticks”.
Who do I mean? Why, it’s Sar.
Orange
Did you think nothing rhymes with orange?
It’s true! The first one is sporange.
It releases a spore,
Then whole lots more.
There’s a mountain which is named Blorenge.
Themberchaud
There once was a dragon named Themberchaud,
Who everyone knew never to goad.
You’re as good as dead,
He might bite off your head.
And about you I’ll write an ode.
Bardic Inspiration
The Songs
Lake Song
Tune: Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Oar, oar, oar your boat,
Quickly down the lake,
If we meet a demi-gorgon,
His breakfast we will make.
Song for an Elf Child out of Bed
Tune: lullaby
Oh, Oh,
The Bringers of Woe!
Get back in your bed,
Or you’ll end up dead!
They’ll chew on your toes,
And suck on your nose!
They’ll nibble your ear,
It’s the last thing you’ll hear!
But you’ll be all right,
If you’re in bed all night!
Oh, Oh,
No Bringers of Woe!
Ash's Song
Tune: High Hopes
Just what makes our little old Ash,
Think everyone desires his stash?
Doesn’t he know that sword… don’t…
Substitute for hard cash?
And he’s got…. noooooo trust!
He’s got…. noooooo trust!
He’s got… from long ago!
I mean…. Nooooo trust!
So any time he’s feelin’ low,
He sure lets us know,
He don’t trust us one whit!
Whoops, there goes another piece of his,
Whoops, there goes another piece of his,
Whoops, there goes another piece of his trust.
Into the dust!
Song of the Prisoners
Tune: I Know an Old Lady
I met Ront in prison, he was a nice guy.
I don’t know why,
I think with a sigh,
He had to die.
A wererat by night and a deep gnome by day,
What can I say?
Topsy couldn’t stay.
She ran away.
What happened to Turvy? We’d all like to know,
Killed by a foe?
A bad way to go!
We miss him so.
Who knew Eldeth was next? It just isn’t right.
Thrown from a height,
A horrible sight,
We saw that night.
Shuushar the Awakened, that guy was a treat!
Flippers for feet,
He couldn’t be beat.
But…don’t watch him eat!
Sarith found some mushrooms standing in a field.
Away he peeled!
When he wouldn’t yield,
His fate was sealed.
Buppido the traitor - we wanted his head!
We were misled,
By things that he said!
We’re glad he’s dead!
We took Stool to the Grove, and Rumpadump too.
They had no clue,
That’s what we’d do.
Stool, we miss you!
Jimjar made a bet, that he’d make it home.
No more to roam,
He should write a tome,
Or maybe a poem.
Itsy Bitsy Buggy
Tune: Itsy Bitsy Spider
The itsy bitsy buggy
Was our Stool’s little friend
Then he got bigger
And
Stool could not contend
That Buggy wasn’t harmful
and
so in the end
Stool had to let go
of his not-so-little friend
Neverlight Grove
Tune: Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
Picture yourself in a grove full of mushrooms
Some glowing blue, and some glowing green.
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly
A mushroom with myconid eyes.
Big friendly mushrooms who talk in your head
And commune by doing mind melds.
Go in the circle and see for yourself
You’re connected to all of them now.
Neverliiiiight Grooove with muuuushrooms!
Neverliiiiight Grooove with muuuushrooms!
Neverliiiiight Grooove with muuuushrooms!
Aaaaaahhhh ahhhh!
Goodbye Stool & Rumpadump
Tune: The Sounds of Silence
Goodbye Stool, my little friend.
For you see, this is the end
Of our travelling together,
Anywhere and in any weather.
We brought you back to the Grove,
And the fiends… out we drove!
You’ll be happy here..
Remember us…. Forever…
Rumpadump, you cutie, you
I’ll miss all the funny things you do!
Have fun with Stool and you keep well
The two of you have many tales to tell.
Grow up big and strong and then
Become wise ‘cause that’s when
You’ll be happy here…
Remember us… Forever…
Gnome Song
Tune: O Tannenbaum
Oh deeeeep gnomes, oh deeeep gnomes
How lovely is your city!
Or it will be, yes it will be
Keep working hard, and it will be!
Root out the ghosts, and all evil,
And restore Blingdenstone, to its glory!
Oh deeeeep gnomes, oh deeeep gnomes
And visit Jimjar’s tavern!
Blingdenstone Anthem v1
Tune: O Canada!
O Blingdenstone, our home and deep gnome land!
True gnomish love, in all the gnomes’ command!
With grateful hearts, to Sar’s Strikers and Six,
We retook our Blingdenstone!
From far and wide, the deep gnomes came,
To rebuild our cherished home!
Calladuran keep our land gnomy and free!
O Blingdenstone, we stand on guard for thee,
O Blingdenstone, we stand on guard for thee!
Blingdenstone Anthem v2
Tune: O Canada!
O Bingdenstone, our home and deep gnome land!
True gnomy love, in all the gnomes’ command,
With gnomy hearts, we see thee rise,
Blingdenstone strong and free!
From far and wide, the deep gnomes come
To join our gnome family!
Calladuran keep our land gnomy and free!
O Blingdenstone, all gnome hearts yearn for thee,
O Blingdenstone, all gnome hearts yearn for thee!
Gracklstugh Anthem
Tune: O Canada!
O Gracklestugh, our home and duergar land!
True duergar love, in all duergar command!
With grateful hearts, to Sar’s Strikers and Six,
We retook our Gracklestugh!
From far and wide, the duergar came,
To rebuild our cherished home!
We’ll keep our land orderly and free!
O Gracklestugh, we stand on guard for thee,
O Gracklestugh, we stand on guard for thee!
Themberchaud 1
Tune: Thunderstruck
(na na na na na na na na)
Thember!
(na na na na na na na na)
Thember!
He is big! He is red!
His enemies have a lot to dread!
He has power! He has might!
Watch out now or he’ll give you a bite!
He is large! He is strong!
And you know that he is never never wrong!
He is smart! He is wise!
That is something you must realize!
Or you’ll be… Themberstruck!
Themberchaud 2
Tune: Pump up the Jam
Pump up the dragon
pump him up
While his tail is thumping
And his wings are flapping
Look ahead the crowd is frightened.
Pump him up a little more
Get the fires goin’ in the outdoors
See? ‘cause that’s where the heat’s at
And you’ll find out, if you do that.
I want…
A rhyme for Gracklestugh
But there isn’t one
Like orange
And sporange.
Thember
Tune: Thriller
It’s after midnight
And something’s moving past you in the air.
A flapping oooooof wings
And suddenly there’s fire everywhere!
‘cause it is Thember!
Themberchaud!
The mighty dragon
Ready to explode!
Thember! Themberchaud!
His eyes are glooooowing
His scales a wondrous shade of red.
You must respect him
Or else you’ll end up very dead!
And he is Thember!
Themberchaud!
The mighty dragon
Subject of this ode!
Thember! Themberchaud!
Thember Forever
Tune: Rick roll! Together Forever
Thember forever and never to die
Thember forever we knew
And don't you know
He could move heaven and earth
To be Thember forever “Woohoo!”
There ain't no mistaking
It's a kingdom he’s making
Something to last for all time
It's never changing
Can't you hear me, I'm saying
He’ll rule Gracklestugh for the rest of his life.
Thember forever and never to die
Thember forever we knew
And don't you know
He could move heaven and earth
To be Thember forever “Woohoo!”
Woenarth & the Wannabees
Tune: Beverly Hillbillies
This is the story of Woenarth and his friends,
6 ruffians tired of doing odds and ends.
Said, “Bringers of Woe are who we wanna be!”,
But Zon killed one and the rest, they did flee!
Woenarth and his friends, they went aboard a boat,
Jackasses all, they got Ophelia’s goat.
5 of them got on, but only 4 got off,
“Hey pigs,” she called, “Go back to your trough!”
On Red Larch Path they were looking for a fight,
Bumped into Corbin and found one all right!
One more down, and they screamed at their foe,
“Blades Black? No! We’re Bringers of Woe!”
A little more subdued they walked on once again,
Pushed around the folk, both the women and the men,
Pudge wasn’t a fighter, so he let the insult go,
“Now,” they said, “We’re Bringers of Woe!”
Their fate was sealed when Blades Black they next met,
When they saw Pudge again, they broke out in a sweat.
A wand in his hand and looking rather brash,
When the fireball ceased, they were nothing but ash!”
Phesdak the Rude-Nosed Duergar
Tune: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
Phesdak the Rude-Nosed Duergar,
Thought he was so wonderful!
But if you ever heard him,
You’d think he was just awful.
All of the other duergar,
Had no respect for him at all.
He was barred from the Shattered Spire,
Around him we should build a wall.
This song has no happy ending,
‘cause Phesdak won’t ever change.
We just feel sorry for him,
And hope that he comes down with mange.
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Thargos
Tune: Inchworm
Thargos! Thargos!
He died bravely in battle!
He was our companion dear,
We’ll miss him lots, I fear.
Thargos! Thargos!
Protecting the vulnerable!
Thanks to him the deep gnomes,
Welcomed their children home.
Thargos! Thargos!
We’ll honour your memory!
A warrior… and a friend,
Our hearts will never mend.
Purple Worms
Tune: Purple Haze
Purple worms… make me frown.
Don’t know if they’re comin’ up or down.
Are they bad or just hungry?
Whatever it is, the worm won’t eat me!
Purple worms… all around…
When they’re coming, make the strangest sound.
As I see the ground start to swell…
‘scuze me while I cast my spell.
Getting’ Ziggy Wit It
Tune: Getting’ Jiggy Wit It
Na na na na na na!
Na na na na na na-na!
What what what what what?
She’ll make you laugh, ‘til you can’t breathe.
Don’t mess wit her, she’ll make a mockery.
She’ll slice your vocal cords, with her whirling swords.
You watch your back, ‘cause she’ll attack.
Your bod’s divisible, when she’s invisible.
She’ll be a friend, to the end
with her bardic inspiration. Dat’s how you….
Get Ziggy With it!
Ash’s song: Kindly Deeds Done for Free
Tune: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
If you’re havin’ trouble with a mindflayer
He’s taking out your mind
You’re down to your last wing and a prayer
Here’s what you gotta do
Yell out loud
Tell the whole crowd
Call out any time
Just yell: “I need… some help.. from Ash!” hey
I’ll come stop that crime!
Kindly deeds, done for free
Kindly deeds, done for free
Kindly deeds, done for free
Kindly deeds and they’re done for free
Kindly deeds and they’re done for free
Dawnbringer, Divine Smite, Celestial
Done for free!
Speak With Dead, Zone of Truth, Heal
Done for free!
Kindly deeds
I’ll help your mother too
Done for free
Kindly deeds, kindly deeds, kindly deeds
Done for free! (raaaaaaa)
Bitrang the Mighty
Tune: Candle In the Wind
Goodbye Bitrang the Mighty,
Though we never knew you at all
You volunteered to aid our quest
To rid the world of demogorgon
Back in Ghohlbrorn’s Lair
Did you have any inkling
That you wouldn’t return alive?
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a minotaur in the wind
Kinda smelly, kinda loud
When the fight set in
And we would’ve liked to know you
But there wasn’t time!
You didn’t deserve to have
a marilith take you down.
Magic Mouth song
Tune: Another Brick in the Wall
We don't need no... interlopers...
We don't need our rest disturbed...
No coming into our personal space,
Bad guys! Leave our group alone!
Hey, bad guys! Leave our butts alone!
All in all it's just a-nother guards & wards spell.
All in all it's just a-nother guards & wards spell.
Bardic Magic
Tune: Hallelujah
Once there was a magic chord
That the bard played, and it pleased the dragon lord,
But you don't really believe in magic, do ya?
It goes like this... no, I won't say!
A bard must keep the magic safe!
To baffle all who come within the spell!
Bardish magic
Bardish magic
Bardish magic
Bardish ma-a-a-a-a-a-a-gic
Bardic Inspiration
The Riddles
